deshabille | nineteen ☼ voice

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nineteen ☼ voice

Ins-and-Outs, if you happen to be in or out anywhere, feel free to report. I imagine many terrible things are happening, and I'd love to have my day ruined by them.

Enterprising extraDiscworlders, feel free to entertain me before breakfast. I have a whole hour.

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Does he have arms and a torso? [Imagine a mysterious finger wiggle here.] We just don't know.

....Doesn't he?

That...does make things difficult.

Your job sounds like it might be a trial. Mr. Lipwig, is it?

No, no, that is not my name. The lady down below is clearly very much mistaken.

Then what's your name supposed to be?

[She may just call him Liphat, that's hilarious.]

Alfred Spangler, upstanding businessman, at your service.

That cannot possibly be anybody's real name.

'Course it's a real name. It's my real name. I've got identification.

[Falsified identification]

Spangler. Very unfortunate. You should get it changed as soon as possible.

I think I'll keep my name, thank you.

Now, what's an enterprising young soldier like you looking for? There must be something you're wanting.

New boots.

I can get those for you.

I honestly don't think you can, sir. I'm in space, you see.

...What, like near one of the elephants?

Quite far from the elephants, actually. I have surpassed the elephants, as it were.

Surpassed the elephants?

How's it we're talking now, then? Have you got a semaphore tower all the way out in space?

I'm sensing wizardry.

It might as well be wizardry. Or gods. Or god wizardry.

Imagine a semaphore tower small enough as to be invisible.

I can't imagine things that are that small. They're by definition unimaginable.

Well, then, don't. No skin off my nose.

I never truly realized how disturbing a metaphor that was.

I'm thrilled to have enlightened you, Mr. Lipwig-Spangler.

Just Mr. Lipwig, if you please. Spangler's my other name.

Your other name that's not yours?

Yes!

...I mean, no.

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