Maladicta von Borogravia (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
deshabille) wrote2014-02-01 07:07 pm
deshabille) wrote2014-02-01 07:07 pm
thirteen ☼ spam & voice
spam } hannibal, backdated
[She does not sit by his bed until he wakes up. Instead, she watches him until she hears his breathing begin again and then leaves the infirmary. She knows he won't stay for long.]
[It's only later that she goes to find him in his room. This time, she knocks. Of course, if he doesn't respond, she'll just go in. But she can pretend at respect for bare moments.]
[It's the little things.]
private } dean, polly, arya, shortly after the above
I need to start it now. Right now.
[Theoretically this is all very dramatic but she's mostly anticipating a lot of boredom, which shows in her voice. Snore. This again.]
[She's fine it's fine.]
private } aeryn
Timetable has obviously been pushed back, but you should know I'll be out of commission for, mm. A while.
private } spock
Something you might be interested in.
private } ben
I have information of relevance to your inmate, and you by extension. No detail, but you should know anyway.
[She does not sit by his bed until he wakes up. Instead, she watches him until she hears his breathing begin again and then leaves the infirmary. She knows he won't stay for long.]
[It's only later that she goes to find him in his room. This time, she knocks. Of course, if he doesn't respond, she'll just go in. But she can pretend at respect for bare moments.]
[It's the little things.]
private } dean, polly, arya, shortly after the above
I need to start it now. Right now.
[Theoretically this is all very dramatic but she's mostly anticipating a lot of boredom, which shows in her voice. Snore. This again.]
[She's fine it's fine.]
private } aeryn
Timetable has obviously been pushed back, but you should know I'll be out of commission for, mm. A while.
private } spock
Something you might be interested in.
private } ben
I have information of relevance to your inmate, and you by extension. No detail, but you should know anyway.
[ Private ]
[He misses her still, and he's pretty sure he always will. He hopes again, as he always does when he thinks of her, that wherever she is she's okay. As okay as people like them ever are.]
And they all knew what he did to her. She couldn't even talk. He never spoke to her. He beat her and he shot her and he made her into a weapon and he didn't even speak to her. He crippled her by making her into a living, breathing, killing machine, and somehow she was still happy. She still loved, so people loved her.
And then I drew the fucking pairing. I was so pissed I would've left if it weren't my entire world on the goddamn line, rather than deal with that shitbag.
[ Private ]
[That is the difference. But she listens anyway, because Dean is her friend, even if she can't quite meet his eyes. She's not human. She wonders sometimes if he remembers that.]
What did you do?
[ Private ]
[He does and he doesn't; he knows it and he's oblivious. She's Mal, and he accepts that at face value without accounting for the fact that sometimes the face she shows is human and sometimes it's not.
Dean has to be hurt, deeply and irreparably, before he understands the urge to cruelty; even then it doesn't last. He patches it back up and lets the new skin grow over, thicker and desensitized and less flexible than the old, but serviceable.
He shakes his head.]
I'm still not sure what really happened. Just... once he became my responsibility, I jumped the rail, even though I'd've gladly beaten the shit outta him before given half a reason. I didn't want anyone else beating on him, though.
Not... [He sighs.] I mean I guess I'm not really all that objective the other way, either.
[ Private ]
[At least that's how she understands it - and that is something she understands. If punishment is to be meted out, it ought to be by her hand, now that eye for an eye is over. The trouble is getting punishment to stick.]
[She isn't human, which helps. She doesn't have to play by the ordinary rules - except for how she does, and how she does even more than anyone else, because of how inhuman she is.]
[It's complicated.]
Is anyone objective about their inmate, really?
[ Private ]
Anyway, the point is, it's okay. And I'll do whatever you need me to do.
Whether you ask me to or not.
[ Private ]
I just - don't like asking. Sometimes.
[No matter who she's asking. It feels like weakness.]
[ Private ]
Preaching to the choir, dumpling.
That's why the second part.